Reclaim & Recover by Tara Blair Ball

Author:Tara Blair Ball [Ball, Tara Blair]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Page Street Publishing
Published: 2022-11-11T00:00:00+00:00

Feeling Our Emotions

Feeling our emotions is an important part of the healing process. Despite all of our efforts to avoid, numb, deny, or ignore our feelings, we’ll have to acknowledge them eventually.

When I was recovering from my own toxic relationship, I felt like loneliness would swallow me heart first, so I spent as much time as possible running from any and all negative feelings. It felt like I was trying to run a marathon through mud, like I was fighting against something.

And I was. I was fighting against feeling.

Feeling terrified me. I thought once I let myself cry, I’d cry until I took my last breath. I thought if I let myself be angry, I’d burn down the world.

What I learned from giving myself the opportunity to feel is that I’m a lot stronger than I thought. I didn’t die. I didn’t burn down the world. What I thought would be so overwhelming wasn’t that way at all. My fear of feeling was more intense than my actual feelings. It’s like hearing a noise in the bushes and thinking it’s a bear when it’s really just a chipmunk.

“Containment” is a helpful way of dealing with negative emotions: you set aside time (it can be just one to two hours) to feel with no distractions or obligations. It can be helpful to schedule this time in advance; then, when a feeling comes up, write it down and tell yourself, “I’m going to feel this during my contained time.”

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